The Dark Side of a ‘Healer’

Imagine this.  Your life has been disrupted.  You found out you have a disease.  Or there was a death in the family.  A divorce.  Childhood abuse is coming forward as an adult.  And you are looking for help.  You are vulnerable and afraid.  You need someone who will help you work through these emotions, someone who has a strength that you have forgotten you possess; someone you can trust, and tell your fears to.  Where do you go?  Who do you seek?

This is the first time I have talked about an experience I had last summer on a public forum.  I have spoken to girlfriends, and some healer colleagues of mine about my experience, and now I want to share it with you.

On a trip to the grocery store, a man waved at me from his vehicle.  I gave a half wave, not recognizing who he was and parked my vehicle.  As I walked into the store, he pulled up beside me, and asked if I was married.  I replied yes, and he said, yah, I knew it.  Can you give me a moment of your time.  I have some things from Spirit to share with you.

Being a healer, a psychic, I was kind of excited.  I was going to have my own little ‘Theresa Caputo’ moment, a reading from a perfect stranger.  I followed him to his car.  He was a good looking man~~ dressed in white spiritual garb (flowing clothes) with a rose quartz around his neck.  More crystals hung from his sun visor, and he had a guitar in his front seat.  He told me he was on his way back home after doing a spiritual retreat.

Claiming that he didn’t have enough room in his own vehicle, he asked if we could move to my vehicle so he could give me a reading.  A few alarms went off in my head, but I thought what could possibly go wrong?  He is a spiritual man, as I am a spiritual woman.

When we got into my vehicle, he started telling me some personal stuff about my relationship with my husband.  He was quite accurate, and I found myself relaxing, thinking ‘this is good’.  He then brought up my trust issues.   They stem from childhood sexual abuse, and reoccurring patterns that have come into adulthood.

He claimed that the only way for me to trust, would be to touch him in the most intimate place a man has.  I paused for a second and then put my hand on his heart chakra.  This annoyed him, and he said again, ‘If you want to learn to trust, you MUST touch me in the most intimate place a man has’.  He pointed to his crotch.  I told him ‘No’.  After some more pressure, and my continually saying ‘No’, he asked me ‘Why I didn’t want to move forward through my trust issues’.

I told him if my Guides wanted me to learn my lesson, they would find another way to bring the lesson forward to me.  And then asked him to get out of the vehicle.  He slammed his fist into the dashboard and got out.

I breathed a sigh of relief… I was safe, and the situation could have been worst than what it was.

Why am I bringing this up?

Because this could have been you.  Or anyone, really.  And you may not have been strong enough to say no.  I know I wasn’t strong enough to walk away when he first approached me.  And I know that I am not the first woman to fall prey to a ‘spiritual man’ claiming to be able to ‘heal’ through sexual measures.

This is the dark side of the healer.  The one who represents themselves as being able to help others, but only preys on their vulnerabilities.  The ones who tell you they will cure your cancer for X amount of dollars.  The ones who say that they have gifts that no one else does, and so you must perform XYZ with them, in order to be healed of all of your problems.

While healing energy treatments can play an important role in one’s self care, for physical, spiritual and emotional wellness, it is not the cure.  Healing comes from within, and a healer is only there to ‘facilitate the healing’, meaning the energy is flowing through them, into you (through hands-on energy transfer, on a fully clothed body).  Everyone has their own healing abilities within them, and therefore, none of us ‘need’ anyone to ‘heal’ us, regardless of what some may claim.

Just as there is a balance of light and dark in the skies, and within ourselves, so too, is there light and dark among the healing world.

A ‘true healer’ will never pressure you to go further than you want to go.  They want to help you, in a way that is comfortable to you.  They may give you suggestions on healing treatments to try, different ideas to think about, etc. BUT they will leave the ball in your court as to how much they are willing to do.  Yes, they will ask to be paid for their time, however, most will work with you if you can’t afford their services.  They may also suggest other healers in your area that would be able to help with your issues, to give you more choices.

A ‘dark healer’ will pressure you, even when you get uncomfortable.  They may ask for large sums of money to perform healing on you, that they claim, only they can do.  They may get angry or berate you if you choose not to go through with their services, or they may pressure you to believe they are the only choice.

If you are looking for a healer, for what ever you are going through, I ask you (perhaps beg you) to follow your heart and your intuition to guide you to the perfect fit for you; to find a healer who is compassionate, understanding and caring, and has your highest good at heart.

Until next time,

xoCatherine

For more information on the healing services that I provide, please visit my website at http://www.journeyhealers.com

Follow me on Facebook!  http://www.facebook.com/JourneyHealers7

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Catherine Graham is an intuitive, healer, and owner of Journey Healers. Catherine is also a mom of 7, and one granddaughter. She has been working with Spirit since 2004. Any comments or questions can be emailed to her at Catherine@journeyhealers.com

 

 

 

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6 Simple Steps To Self Love

My birthday was last month, and I was surprised with a trip to the spa.  My husband did really good this year, and had planned out a ‘spa day’, complete with a Hawaiian hot stone massage, facial, mani/pedi and a luncheon that he picked out just for me.  It was a wonderful day of relaxation, and rejuvenation.  Being a mom of 7, running a business, being a wife, a friend, a sister… I am the first to tell people to take care of themselves, and one of the last people to actually do it.

It was in the moments of having a mixture of hot stones and cool sea shells rubbed over my back that I started to think of this ‘Self-Love’ thing that I like to talk about so much.

When is the last time you said that you love yourself?

Many equate love with relationships~~ their partner, children, parents, siblings, friends.  Very rarely do we look at ourselves and ask, Do I really love you?  Do I give you enough attention, admiration and adoration?  Do you give yourself compliments?  Or do you just complain about all of the shortcomings that you feel you have?

Our relationship with our Self is the very first relationship that we have.  We are there at the moment of conception, to the very moment we take our last breath.  You are the only one who was there for the first step, the first bike ride, first loose tooth, first kiss, first job, and so on. Only you have known your pain, your self judgments, your relationship ups and downs.  And yet, you are also the first person to turn down that second piece of cake, the great opportunity that fills you with fear, or a potential relationship that you are afraid of.

So I challenge you now, to put yourself first~~ to love yourself for the Being that you are.

In a world where putting yourself first is seen as selfish, or even cocky, I ask you to put yourself at the forefront of your life.  After all, you are the one that has to live it.

Not sure where to start?   Here are 5 simple steps for you to incorporate into your day.

BE MINDFUL

Be aware of yourself.  Know your thoughts, feelings and emotions.  Know where you stand.  By understanding where you are coming from, understanding what you are feeling, you open yourself to truly loving (and forgiving yourself.)  At first, you may have a difficult time understanding the feelings, however, give them a name.  Are you happy?  No?  Excited? No?  Proud?  Yes~ explore that.  Be honest with yourself. 

SELF CARE

Make sure you are taking the time every day to take care of yourself.  There are the norms~~ washing, brushing your hair and teeth~~ but there’s also some things that we may not think of~~  going for an energy treatment to let yourself relax, or going for a massage.  Take time for the little things, and let someone else take care of you, if only for an hour.

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

When you look in the mirror first thing in the morning, rather than taking in the wrinkles, a gray hair, or the sagging skin, find 3 things you love about yourself.  Too hard?  Find 3 things that you think are okay about yourself.  It doesn’t have to be appearances, it can be based on your Soul’s appearance as well.  Start the day off with a compliment, and then focus on that for the day. 

(Would you want to be best friends with someone who constantly put you down?)

LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR HEART WANTS

Do you really want to watch Janet’s kids this weekend?  Do you really want to help Jimmy out at work?  Or are you doing these things because you feel obligated to, or are wanting appraisal for doing it?  Before saying yes to anything, ask yourself whether it’s something that will bring you joy, or if it will simply be another task to add to your to do list.  By listening to what your heart wants, rather than what your mind tells you you should be doing, you are staying true to your authentic self.

LET GO OF TOXIC PEOPLE AND TOXIC THINGS

One of the most popular books of last year was The Joy of Tidying Up.  This book has the reader hold their belongings and decide whether or not they are bringing joy or not.  If they are not bringing you joy, you are to throw this out, gift it, donate it, etc.  This has been my motto for years.  If it isn’t working, throw it out.  This is true for relationships, jobs, and stuff.  The more you clear out the energies that are taking you away from your True Self, the closer you can become with your True Self.  Allow yourself to let go.  Holding onto it will only bring you down and give you more reason to not like yourself.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE!

A funny human condition that I learned of a few years ago is how easy it is for us humans to stop doing the things that we love in favor of doing the things we don’t love.  For example, we may love to paint, and yet never make time for it, while we hate doing PTA meetings and constantly sign up for the next one to prove ourselves to someone.   Stop it!  Allow yourself the time and space to do what you love~~ painting, singing, knitting, gardening, working out… whatever it may be that gets you feeling good about yourself and your life. Create. Learn.  Live.

 

Many of us want to experience love, and the easiest, and best way to start that, it to love yourself.  When you can practice that daily, you have love to give out to the world, and we all know we could use a little more of that.

 

Until next time,

xoCatherine