A few weeks ago, I had a chance to learn a new modality, Trifold Dimensions. The Trifold, as I like to call it, is a hands on energy technique, based on the Access Consciousness Body foundations and helps with releasing shock and trauma from a person’s body, at a cellular level. And I have to say, I am actually really impressed with this technique.
Being a healer, who is certified in many different techniques, I have been witness to some awesome healings, clarity, and understanding that these techniques can bring. With the Trifold however, the healing is happening in a different and deeper way.
First off, let’s talk about what shock and trauma actually are. Most think that shock or trauma are caused when we go through catastrophic events, such as a death, car accident, abusive relationship, or divorce. However, trauma and shock can be the simpler things in life as well, such as getting an unexpected high bill, or as a child, being told no to that cookie before supper. Because we have different ways of reacting to situations based on our own emotional and mental abilities, a child being told no can be just as traumatic for them as an adult losing their job.
When this trauma happens, it creates a new energetic pattern within the body, that we hold on to. So say, you were the child who was told no to that cookie, and you threw a temper tantrum. Your mom, who is trying to make supper, yells, and states no again. This only upsets you more, and you start to cry harder. Your mom is unable to calm you down, nor does she have the patience for it. An energetic pattern has been set.
As you get older, every time you ask for something and are told ‘no’, you react the same way you did at 2. Because the feelings that you had were not addressed, and caused trauma at the time, you always revert back to being a 2 year old being told no.
Now this of course would be an extreme case, but shows an easy glimpse into how these shocks and traumas of our lives can begin to play out into patterns that we hold onto, and ruts that we can get stuck in.
During a Trifold Dimensions treatment, you are able to access these patterns and the trauma that is associated with them. During my own, I was able to see the patterns of my own anger that had stemmed from a child who was sexually abused. Every time I witness someone doing something that is against the law (whether a child sneaking a snack or breaking basic rules, a driver not following the rules of the road, etc) I am fuming angry. During the Trifold that I received, I realized that my anger stemmed from my molestor, who also didn’t follow the rules. Knowing this, I have been able to release a lot of the anger that had built up through the years, towards him, and anyone I viewed to be ‘just like him’.
For my clients, I have witnessed healing from sexual assault, abandonment, abuse, betrayal, and feeling unloved. The healing that is taking place is taking away years of hurt, anger, and confusion, and replacing it with understanding, love and compassion.
If you have been feeling stuck in a rut, stuck in the same energetic patterns, or just wanting to let that sh*t go, a Trifold Dimensions treatment may be exactly what you need.
It’s never too late to start over again… take a chance today to let that sh*t go.
To book your own Trifold Dimensions treatment, click here.
Spirit Guides. Animal Totems. Angels. Ascended Masters. In a world when one is often feeling alone, these helpers from the Spiritual world can help us to connect, understand and move forward with life’s toughest decisions and experiences. However, learning to listen to these messages, takes time, training and an awareness of an unseen world. Read on to learn how you can tell your Spirit Guides are trying to get your attention.
1. UNUSUAL AND UNFORGETTABLE ENCOUNTERS
I had written an article on my personal facebook page, and was recommended to send it to the local newspaper. I did, and heard back a few hours later that they wanted to publish it in the weekend edition of the paper. The editor wanted to know my background. I told him I was a stay at home mom. He said, ‘Okay, but what schooling do you have? You’re a great writer’. I told him again of my stay at home mom status. He replied again that I had a real talent and should consider a career in writing.
What he didn’t know was that I was working on my first book, and I was scared as hell at the thought of putting it out into the ‘real world’. Later that week, I was expressing my fears to my husband, as we were waiting for the bus. We got on the bus, and at the next stop, an alcohol-perfumed, homeless looking man stepped on. He sat behind me, and started to talk to me about the importance of writers in our world. He told me that everyone has a story to share, and that if, given the chance, everyone would write their story down, the world would be a better place, as we could each learn something from one another from our own experiences. I felt as though he was speaking to my soul, and yet, the stench of alcohol coming off of him made me second guess that he was a Spirit Helper. He stepped off the bus, singing American Pie, the whole way.
About 9 months later, I received my first copy of my first book in the mail. I ran out to the van to take it to my husband’s work and show him. As I turned on the van, American Pie started playing on the radio. I was swept back to the time when I was afraid of putting my words out there, and knew, then and there, that my alcohol-perfumed homeless looking man, was a Spiritual helper, whether he was aware or not.
Two years later, while at an I Can Do It Conference in Toronto, Doreen Virtue took the stage and started speaking about how angels, namely Archangel Michael, often appears as a homeless person, to seem more ‘human like’ to get the messages needed across, or to lend a helping hand. This reconfirmed my encounter, and again, I was elated with joy. She then spoke of how spiritual encounters with angels will often drop feathers to let you know they were an angel. As I left the building, two angel feathers dropped from the sky right in front of me.
2. SIGNS, SIGNS, EVERYWHERE THE SIGNS!
When you’re Guides are trying to connect with you, you will begin to see signs, everywhere you go. These signs can come in the way of numbers (think 11:11), words displayed at the right moment, a song on the radio, an animal encounter, or even when eavesdropping on a conversation in the mall. When they are trying to get a hold of you, they go through every means possible to get your attention.
3. A BLUNT KNOWING
Sometimes, when we are really needing it, our Guides will just tell us something, abruptly and bluntly.
When my youngest was three weeks old, my husband and I were driving home from a health show, with our youngest in the back. As we approached the intersection by our home, I heard a loud ‘STOP!’, even though the light was green. I stopped, and watched a woman zoom through her red light. Had I not stopped, I would have been hit, and most likely crushed, only a few houses from our home.
This happens quite often, where people recounting near death experiences have heard messages, or received visions that have deterred them from meeting their end. Listen when these moments happen.
4. GUT FEELINGS
Have you ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomach that something bad was going to happen? Or maybe, you just knew you were about to find the perfect job, or perfect mate. It may even be something pointless, like knowing who is calling, or who has knocked on the door. These gut feelings are often indicators from our Guides that we are on the right path.
When I was a child, we were at a community event at the local arena. As I sat at the table with my parents, I noticed a small child, younger than 3, playing on the cement steps. I got a feeling immediately that he was going to fall, and so I kept looking over at him. At one point, my mom asked me what I was looking at, and I told her, ‘The boy is going to fall’.
It was less than five minutes later, that he did fall, from the top step to the bottom. Because I had been watching, I was able to get there first and pick him up, covered in blood. His mother ran over shortly after, and got him the help he needed.
5. ARRANGING AND NUDGING
There was an article floating around on the internet a few year ago, about a bunch of people who woke up and had bad mornings~~ one overslept, one got a blister on their foot from their new shoes, one who’s child got sick, etc. These same people also escaped the horrific events of 9/11 because of these nuisances that they experienced.
When our Guides are trying to deter our path to something less painful, they will rearrange our lives. Perhaps you forgot your lunch, so you go back home. You may be grumpy (how inconvenient!), and yet, realize 5 minutes later while driving down the road, that had you not gone back, you may have been involved in the car accident that just happened. Perhaps you have plans to go out one night, and are unable to because you are feeling unwell. The phone rings later, and an old coworker has called to let you know of the perfect position.
We never know what’s happening in the Spirit world, or why our lives are being arranged the way that they are. Trust that your Guides are taking care of you, and giving you exactly what you need at the right time, even if it doesn’t always feels like it.
The more you connect in with your Guides, the easier the relationship becomes, and the easier it is to understand the messages that they are sending to you. When you are listening to your Guides, you will be able to see that life isn’t against you, you aren’t alone, and that things can really work in your favor if you’re willing for them to.
Click here to pre-order your own copy of my guided meditation cd~ Meet Your Spirit Guides, and receive free shipping!
In grade 6, my son did a science project on how emotions/words can affect fruit, therefore, also showing how emotions and words can affect our physical bodies. He cut up 6 apples, putting one half in one container, and one half in another container, and then labelled them with ‘I love you’, or ‘I hate you’; ‘Anger’, ‘Happiness’, etc. Within one week all of the apples browned a bit. But after 6 weeks, the apples with the ‘negative words/emotions’ had turned black with mold, soppy, and just plain gross. The apples that had positive words and emotions were the same light brown that they had been one week into the project.
This was an eye opener for him, as he was able to see how harboring negative thoughts, emotions, and feelings in our bodies can change the way we look, feel, and react to the world around us. (he got an A on the project, by the way).
The truth is, we are here, having a human experience, and a part of that experience, is to feel anger, sadness, resentment, hurt, disappointment, trial, pain, etc. It’s not all love and light~~ that’s what the Spirit world is for. And yet, quite often, when we are given experiences and people to help us feel these darker emotions, we want to run, and put our hand under the sand.
It is better for us, to feel these emotions, to experience these hardships, in order for us to grow. However, many of us, get so caught up in the ‘darkness’ aspect, that we forget about the light, the growth and the potential that each experience can bring us. Just as a lobster needs to hide itself under a rock to crack off it’s shell and grow a new one; just as a butterfly needs to crush it’s own wings out of the cocoon, so do we need to overcome the adversities of life, surrender, let it go, so that we can reach our greatest potential.
So how do you move through it? How do you move forward? How do you let go? Here are some simple ways to help you on your journey of letting go..
1. HONOR YOUR EMOTIONS.
We aren’t here to be all wishy washy, lovey dovey all of the time. It is important for us to feel a myriad of emotions. This is what makes us human. So if you’re feeling angry, allow yourself to feel angry. If you are feeling hurt, allow yourself to feel hurt. Just don’t stay there. Honour the emotions, and then move on.
2. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PART.
Everyone wants to blame the other guy for the way that they are feeling. However, we all have a choice to react to any situation, or person, in what ever way we choose. If someone is being a jerk, you can honour your anger and perhaps disappointment, and then move on. If you allow yourself to focus on the fact that the person is a jerk, you are giving them power over you. If you are feeling as though they are a jerk because you slept in today, didn’t get your coffee, had a fight with your husband, your kids drove you nuts, and he’s just the icing on the cake, take a step back, and see your responsibility in the behavior and then let it go.
3. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF
Sometimes we can get so caught up in the idea of letting go, that we get frustrated with ourselves when we aren’t where we want to be yet. This is true for many who have gone through some life altering experiences~~ divorce, job loss, disease, death. We try to force ourselves to be happy again, without really allowing ourselves to feel the emotions in the mean time. Feel it. Live it. Allow yourself to be in the anger. To be in the sadness. To be in the regret. For as long as it takes. It may be a day, it may be a month. No one knows how long you need but you.
4. GET AN ENERGY TREATMENT DONE
Energy treatments help you to release at a subtle energy level (those parts of yourself that you can not see). By asking for help from a trusted healer/energy worker, you will give yourself a chance to relax, and let go of all that you are no longer needing to hold on to. Some of this may be obvious, while other stuff may hit you over the head with an Aha! moment. Some great energy techniques for letting go (that I personally love) are Reiki, Access Bars, IET, Emotion Code, and Meta Angel Therapy.
5. GET CREATIVE
When I was trying to let go of the hurt that I felt towards my abuser, I spent hours in creative energy, writing songs, poems, painting pictures, and writing letters. It was a great way for me to express the emotions that I wasn’t able to speak out loud. Give yourself some space to create. Paint, garden, draw, sing, dance, play an instrument, whatever makes you feel alive. Allow those emotions to pour out of you into a creative endeavor.
One of the easiest ways to let go of emotions, is to state simple affirmations to release the emotions that you are no longer wanting to hold onto. If you are having trouble with anger, you might say, ‘I have honoured my anger and now live in peace. If you are having trouble with letting go of a relationship, you might affirm, ‘I am a confident, loving woman who is open to meeting the love of my life now. I cherish my past relationships and the lessons they have taught me.
Letting go doesn’t need to be hard, hurtful, or a chore. When you honour your body and your emotions and what they are telling you, it makes the path to letting go a much more beautiful one. Be easy on yourself, and allow yourself to let go in your own time.
Psychics and healers. The words bring forth many definitions, depending on your opinion and upbringing. Some think ‘I want to know my future!’; some think ‘EVIL!’; and some think ‘FAKE!’. What I have come to realize though, is that for many, we have been misinformed as a society about what a psychic and/or healer actually does. Movies and tv shows only give a glimpse into the work of those who have chosen a path of this sort, and the general consensus of a poll in Canada by Reader’s Digest, claimed that psychics are the least trusted professions, beating out politicians and lawyers!
First, let’s talk about what each of these professions mean.
A psychic, known in mainstream media, is one who sees the future, and predicts what is going to happen. However, the word psychic is actually derived from the Greek word, psykhikos, which means ‘Of the Soul, Spirit or Mind’. To be psychic literally means to be ‘working from the Soul, or the Spirit’.
An intuitive, like a psychic, is also connected into the subtle energy fields, and uses this information that they are picking up on to deliver messages.
A medium is one who connects in with Spirit who has crossed over, and delivers messages to their loved ones.
A healer is one who has been trained in different energy medicines to alter the energetic fields of their client to promote whole health and wellness.
Someone in these professions may classify themselves as being an Intuitive Psychic Healer, or an Intuitive Medium, or any combination of the words. It all depends on what feels right to each individual. They know their gifts, and they know what they are able to do with them.
As an Intuitive Psychic Medium and Healer,
I want to shed some light on some of the most common myths and mistruths of my profession, and hopefully answer some questions you may have!
PSYCHICS/HEALERS DO EVIL WORK
Quite the opposite is true actually. Every psychic and healer I know of personally, is working with the intention of helping others heal the pains and hurts in their lives, connect them with those they are grieving or empower themselves to take a lead in their lives.
Of the psychics and healers I know, not one of them connects in with a dark energy, the Devil, or any other ‘voodoo’ type of energy. In fact, when I talk to them, they talk about God, a Source Energy, a Love Energy.
Their intention is one of love, healing, compassion and understanding, exactly what all religions preach for us to live every day.
2. PSYCHIC/HEALERS ARE ALWAYS ‘ON’.
Like the average citizen, psychics and healers are able to ‘walk away’ from their job, when they are needing to rest, or have time off. No, we aren’t all like Theresa Caputo, walking up to strangers to deliver messages. Many of us will protect and ground ourselves, when we are out in high traffic areas, as messages, and energy can be overwhelming for those of us who are sensitive to the subtle energies. To be ‘on’ all of the time, would be exhausting!
That being said, for those of us who connect with Spirit who have crossed over, Spirit will, at times come forward to deliver a message, even when we are not sitting with their loved one. In fact, I have been woken up from a dead sleep to write down a message from Spirit more than once. I have had Spirit connect with me weeks prior to a client even booking an appointment.
3. PSYCHICS/HEALERS SHOULD BE FREE AS IT’S A GIFT
Yes, we have a gift, from God, that allows us to connect into a subtle energy to bring forth messages. Just as a doctor has a gift to diagnose and heal patients. And a mechanic has a gift to look at vehicles and fix them. The truth is, psychics and healers have families, homes, needs (food, water, shelter) and dreams, just like you and I do. Just as you are paid to work, so should we.
Each psychic and healer determines how much they will be making per session. Some of these are cheaper than others. This doesn’t mean one is better than another. Most likely it has to do with how much the psychic or healer values about the work that they do, and their own confidence in their abilities.
I have seen some who charge as little as $10/session and some who charge upwards of $1000/session. This is where you as a sitter get to decide how much you are willing to pay to have a reading or healing session done.
And there are exceptions. There have been times when I have been guided to give a reading at no cost to the client. There have been times when I have guided to do the reading or session at a lower price.
All in all though, a psychic or healer deserves to be paid, just as much as the mailman, the doctor, or any other profession.
4. A REAL PSYCHIC/HEALER HAS HAD THE GIFT SINCE BIRTH
You hear about these phenomenon often~~ children who are born with a gift of seeing or knowing. And this is true for many. Even more true though, are the people who realize their gifts later in life, through trial and error, quite often after they experience a life changing moment (death of a loved one, car accident, divorce, etc) and begin to search for deeper answers.
The truth is, we all have the ability to be a psychic or a healer. Just as we all have the ability to be a scientist, a musician, or an athlete. It is whether we choose to allow ourselves to strengthen these aspects of ourselves or not.
I have one child who was born with a gift of seeing~~ he was able to tell me what people were doing across town (and this was confirmed); able to tell me about our past lives together (also confirmed) and able to see a young man who had crossed over, and describe him to a ‘T’. When he was 8, he turned this off, and it hasn’t been turned on again since.
I remember moments when I was a child where I had gut feelings about situations only to have them come true. Was this a psychic premonition? Was it my spirit guides warning me? I’m not sure to this day, however, now, after years of developing my gifts, I am able to tell the differences between the two.
5. OUR LIVES ARE PERFECT
This one is probably the farthest from the truth. I often have people say, well why don’t you just play the lottery? Or, shouldn’t you have picked up on that situation, after all you are psychic.
Yes, I am psychic, but it doesn’t mean I’ve got my shit together. In fact, I go and see other psychics to have readings done on me (especially when my own readings on myself are not giving me the answers that I want! )
As psychics and healers, we have often chosen a tougher path, with more extreme relationships, life experiences, than the average person, to bring ourselves a greater understanding of the human experience.
This means we have lost those who are close to us, we have gone through rough break ups, we have had falling outs with family members, have had diseases, have gone bankrupt, have lost jobs, lost houses, and yet, we are still filled with hope and love and understanding.
We know that we have lessons to go through, and that by going through those lessons, we are able to help others. By helping ourselves, and working on our own spiritual journey, we are able to connect in deeper, and stronger with our clients and with the spirit world.
The next time you go for a reading, or a healing session, remember, that your psychic/healer/medium/intuitive, is just another person, learning to grow their gifts, to live their passion, and ultimately, to help you on your journey to becoming the best you you can be.
If you haven’t heard Justin Bieber’s latest song, Love Yourself, you may be living under a rock~ or perhaps you’re still hung up on his wayward ways a few years ago. Either way, do yourself a favor, and go check it out. (I love it, I am a Belieber, again!)
That being said, I keep wanting to write a spiritual parody of it, where rather than saying ‘You should go and love yourself’, I would sing ‘You should go and smudge yourself’, but I haven’t been able to get too creative with the rest of the song lyrics yet.
So what’s the deal with smudging anyway? Does it really work? And how do you know when you should, or shouldn’t, be doing it?
When I first learned of smudging, I was a bit naïve. In fact, I didn’t know a darn thing about it, however, I have some really great friends who were able to fill me in on this technique.
Smudging is for everyone~ you don’t need to be a spiritual guru, shaman, medicine woman, ghost whisperer, etc. The art of smudging, while spiritual, in that it releases negative energies, it also has scientific backing to rid your house of bacteria and germs.
Read further to learn the best times to smudge your home, and yourself, for optimal living!
When You’re Sick, You Should Smudge Yourself!
Sickness is the easiest way to know that you’re energy is off. When you are feeling under the weather, or someone in your home is, grab your smudge stick, light it, and walk around the house, releasing all bacteria, germs and negative energy that is not there for your highest good, or the highest good of your family. As I said before, smudging is known to help clear up harmful bacteria in the air.
When You’re Sad/Angry/Depressed, You Should Smudge Yourself!
Yes, smudging can be a mood enhancer! Whether you’re feeling down, angry, depressed, lonely, or tired, smudging can help to release the pent up emotions so that you can feel ‘normal’ again. This isn’t to say that it will take away depression and you can get get off your medication. Negative energy, whether our own, or someone else’s, can make very dominant feelings in and around us. When we smudge our homes, and ourselves, we are releasing these negative energies back into the Universe, so that we don’t have to hold on to them.
When There’s an Argument, You Should Smudge Yourself!
Anytime there is a lot of tension in the air, it’s always a good idea to smudge the area afterwards, to release any lingering emotions once and for all. Have you ever heard the expression, ‘You could have cut the tension in the room’? Our emotions and feelings carry energy, and when we have a release (like an argument) the energies are also released. So if you and your spouse have a heated argument, you are spewing anger in the room, possible hurt, and defeat. That’s some pretty nasty stuff. By smudging, it’s like doing a spiritual cleanse of the room.
Before and After Large Gatherings, You Should Smudge Yourself!
Anytime there’s large groups of people coming together, whether to celebrate, or mourn, you should smudge the areas that people will be in, or have been in. I remember one Thanksgiving we had family over, and I had smudged the house before hand. The day was wonderful. The following day though, everyone in my house was grumpy. It wasn’t until late afternoon that it dawned on me, I should probably smudge again, and so I did. Everyone’s bad moods diminished.
When You Move, You Should Smudge Yourself!
When you move into a new home, it’s important to smudge the home of the old tenants’ energies. For many, our homes are our safe havens, where we let everything out, and thus becomes an energy portal for what we are putting out there. When you move into someone else’s home, if you smudge, you are alleviating the previous tenant’s energy that was left stagnant, and making room for your own personal energy.
When Things are Wacky, You Should Smudge Yourself!
If you are open to spirit, you may be able to tell when things are feeling a bit wacky. I have had lights turn on by themselves, instruments play by themselves, chairs move, etc. When Spirit is around, it’s best to cleanse the space for your Highest Good so Spirit can only come through in a positive way for you and your loved ones.
Smudging takes mere minutes, and yet offers so many benefits to our lives. As long as your intention is good, there’s really no ‘wrong way’ to smudge. Have fun with it, make it a ritual, for you and your family.
Catherine Graham is an intuitive, healer, and owner of Journey Healers. Catherine is also a mom of 7, and one granddaughter. She has been working with Spirit since 2004. Any comments or questions can be emailed to her at Catherine@journeyhealers.com
Have you ever been to a psychic, an intuitive or a healer? Chances are you are a bit of a believer, to be going in the first place. However, are you being the best client you can be? Are you getting the most out of the reading that you could be?
Here are some simple steps to help you get the most out of your psychic experience, from a psychic intuitive healer, to you~~
Listen to what is being said!
It sounds simple enough. You go for a reading, and you listen to the information that is being said. However, you would not believe how many people don’t want to listen to the information that they are being given. Remember, that you are the paying client, who has come to the psychic intuitive for a reading~~ you are there to listen. Even if it isn’t making sense at first, allow yourself to simply absorb it, and think about it.
I can’t count the number of times that someone has told me they have no idea what I’m talking about only to find out later that the Daisy I kept seeing from their grandmother, referred to a relationship their deceased father had prior to their birth, or that the information shared about their job was exactly what happened the next week; or the man of their dreams turned out to be a dud after all. Your psychic intuitive is not there to hurt or harm you (or they shouldn’t be anyway) and they only want to see what is best for you.
So you go for your reading, and you get the information that gives you clarity or your next best steps. Now what? Do you stand still waiting for everything to fall perfectly into place, or do you start taking action steps?
You can go back to the same psychic a hundred times, or you can jump from psychic to psychic, and they will continue to tell you the same thing, until you start to take action in your own life, and allow the changes to start to happen. Again, a psychic/intuitive only wants to help you, and we do, at times, bang our head against the wall when we see you falling into the same patterns, time and time again.
You can get as much guidance as you want, but if you do nothing with it, your wasting your own time, and ours. Be good to yourself and take action in the direction that you are wanting to go!
Write or Record!
When you sit down for your reading, grab a notepad and pen, or bring along a recording device (many cellphones have this now). Take notes, or record, what the psychic is telling you. It may not make sense now, or you may not remember everything. Sometimes, I have had people bring a friend, so the friend can take notes while they simply listen.
Along with the Take Action, comes Take Responsibility. This is your life. Your psychic is basing your reading off the energy that you have, your Guides, your loved ones, and any information that is coming through.
The information that is coming forward is based on what is best for you at this time. At any point, you can take life into your own hands, and use your free will, to choose what you want to do, and your next steps. Take responsibility in this. It is your psychic’s job to read you, not to make Every. Single. Decision. for you. If you feel things aren’t working, or you’re just damn tired of sticking with the same old, and want a change, than do it!
Your psychic is there to offer guidance… not to give you a ‘how to manual’ on how you should live your life. You are responsible for what information you take with you and what you do with it.
Just like every mechanic is different, every doctor is different and every teacher is different, every psychic is different. We all read in our own ways, using our own tools, methods, etc. Some swear. Some don’t . Some read energy, some talk to the dead, some see the future, some see the past. This doesn’t make any of them right or wrong… they are just using the gifts that they have received, or have worked on developing.
When it comes to choosing your psychic, it is best that you choose one that suits you and your own personal needs. Every psychic has their own way of doing their readings~~ when you are booking, you can always ask what tools they use, but please, don’t compare them to other psychics… What works for some, does not work for all~~ and no, we’re not all like Theresa Caputo, ready to share your messages of loved ones crossed over, while you’re out drinking a coffee (remember, that’s t.v!)
Having a reading can be fun, informative, and helpful, when you are willing to listen, and then take action and responsibility for your own life. A psychic reading is valuable when making tough life decisions, or needing that push to move forward. Be sure to be open to the information that is coming through for you.
My birthday was last month, and I was surprised with a trip to the spa. My husband did really good this year, and had planned out a ‘spa day’, complete with a Hawaiian hot stone massage, facial, mani/pedi and a luncheon that he picked out just for me. It was a wonderful day of relaxation, and rejuvenation. Being a mom of 7, running a business, being a wife, a friend, a sister… I am the first to tell people to take care of themselves, and one of the last people to actually do it.
It was in the moments of having a mixture of hot stones and cool sea shells rubbed over my back that I started to think of this ‘Self-Love’ thing that I like to talk about so much.
When is the last time you said that you love yourself?
Many equate love with relationships~~ their partner, children, parents, siblings, friends. Very rarely do we look at ourselves and ask, Do I really love you? Do I give you enough attention, admiration and adoration? Do you give yourself compliments? Or do you just complain about all of the shortcomings that you feel you have?
Our relationship with our Self is the very first relationship that we have. We are there at the moment of conception, to the very moment we take our last breath. You are the only one who was there for the first step, the first bike ride, first loose tooth, first kiss, first job, and so on. Only you have known your pain, your self judgments, your relationship ups and downs. And yet, you are also the first person to turn down that second piece of cake, the great opportunity that fills you with fear, or a potential relationship that you are afraid of.
So I challenge you now, to put yourself first~~ to love yourself for the Being that you are.
In a world where putting yourself first is seen as selfish, or even cocky, I ask you to put yourself at the forefront of your life. After all, you are the one that has to live it.
Not sure where to start? Here are 5 simple steps for you to incorporate into your day.
Be aware of yourself. Know your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Know where you stand. By understanding where you are coming from, understanding what you are feeling, you open yourself to truly loving (and forgiving yourself.) At first, you may have a difficult time understanding the feelings, however, give them a name. Are you happy? No? Excited? No? Proud? Yes~ explore that. Be honest with yourself.
Make sure you are taking the time every day to take care of yourself. There are the norms~~ washing, brushing your hair and teeth~~ but there’s also some things that we may not think of~~ going for an energy treatment to let yourself relax, or going for a massage. Take time for the little things, and let someone else take care of you, if only for an hour.
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
When you look in the mirror first thing in the morning, rather than taking in the wrinkles, a gray hair, or the sagging skin, find 3 things you love about yourself. Too hard? Find 3 things that you think are okay about yourself. It doesn’t have to be appearances, it can be based on your Soul’s appearance as well. Start the day off with a compliment, and then focus on that for the day.
(Would you want to be best friends with someone who constantly put you down?)
LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR HEART WANTS
Do you really want to watch Janet’s kids this weekend? Do you really want to help Jimmy out at work? Or are you doing these things because you feel obligated to, or are wanting appraisal for doing it? Before saying yes to anything, ask yourself whether it’s something that will bring you joy, or if it will simply be another task to add to your to do list. By listening to what your heart wants, rather than what your mind tells you you should be doing, you are staying true to your authentic self.
LET GO OF TOXIC PEOPLE AND TOXIC THINGS
One of the most popular books of last year was The Joy of Tidying Up. This book has the reader hold their belongings and decide whether or not they are bringing joy or not. If they are not bringing you joy, you are to throw this out, gift it, donate it, etc. This has been my motto for years. If it isn’t working, throw it out. This is true for relationships, jobs, and stuff. The more you clear out the energies that are taking you away from your True Self, the closer you can become with your True Self. Allow yourself to let go. Holding onto it will only bring you down and give you more reason to not like yourself.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE!
A funny human condition that I learned of a few years ago is how easy it is for us humans to stop doing the things that we love in favor of doing the things we don’t love. For example, we may love to paint, and yet never make time for it, while we hate doing PTA meetings and constantly sign up for the next one to prove ourselves to someone. Stop it! Allow yourself the time and space to do what you love~~ painting, singing, knitting, gardening, working out… whatever it may be that gets you feeling good about yourself and your life. Create. Learn. Live.
Many of us want to experience love, and the easiest, and best way to start that, it to love yourself. When you can practice that daily, you have love to give out to the world, and we all know we could use a little more of that.