Imagine this: You wake up one morning, and decide, ‘I’m going to have a good day. I will have a positive attitude, and I will be happy until I go to bed.” Half an hour later, a fight with a teenager has put you in a tailspin, and you’re not feeling very positive at all. But how did that happen? You woke up with the intention to be positive…. so why didn’t it work?
We all have it. We expect to get the job we want. We expect for our spouse to act or react a certain way. We expect that certain behaviors will get us the rewards that we desire. And isn’t that what ‘The Secret’, The Law of Abundance, and the Law of Attraction are all about? Expecting great results, and then seeing them?
I had this happen just three days ago. I woke up in a great mood, I had a plan of serenity set out for the day. I was going to be calm, peaceful and ‘zen’; it was where my mind was at. And then only half an hour later, I was a screaming monster, as my teenage son got under my skin (the way that he knows how) and I asked myself, ‘What is the lesson in all of this?’
It took me a few days of stewing, complaining, rewinding and replaying our fight. It was a dumb one (as they usually are) and he pushed all the right buttons (as he usually does) to get me to react (as I usually do). What pissed me off about it this time around that hadn’t happened before, was that it took me right off my idea of what my day was going to look like.
Arguing with a self-absorbed teen is not a positive day. Or was it?
You see, so often, we get caught up in this idea of what is good, and what is bad. We don’t see things as just being.. We label them. We categorize them. We judge them. And we expect them to bring along certain results.
I have a sign in my house that says ‘It is what it is’. My mom has made fun of how often I say this. The car breaks down. It is what it is. The kids are sick. It is what it is. I would not let these things bother me, because there was nothing I could do to change them, but I had realized over the years that by just accepting them, and dealing with them (and knowing that they couldn’t ruin my day) I was able to work through them, and always found a positive spin on them.
But this moment with my teenager, my first thought was not, ‘It is what it is’. My first thought was ‘How dare he take my day away from me!?’. I called my sister, I posted on facebook. I didn’t allow the moment that happened an hour ago to stay where it was… I continued to carry it with me. He, I blamed, had ruined my day.
Actually, It was me. I ruined my day. The moment I decided to attach that moment… that argument to the rest of my day; the moment I decided to say this is ruining xyz, rather than stating this is what it is; the moment I lost control of my own boundaries, and my own ideas of what was good and what was bad…. that’s how I ruined my day.
We all have our own power. We all get to choose what is going to affect us and what is not going to affect us. We get to choose how we will end each moment… whether we will let it go, or continue to carry it with us. We get to choose how we will label each situation… is it good, or is it bad, or is it simply what it is? A situation, in a small moment in time, that we can’t erase, that we can’t take back.
When we allow ourselves to let go of the expectation, we leave no room for disappointment. We may go in with an awareness to any situation (I am aware that my resume is kick ass, so I have a great chance at getting the job) but we don’t need to have the expectation (I expect that I will get this job, because of my resume, and if I don’t, everything in my life is a failure). We may have an awareness that someone is a liar, so then we are not disappointed when they do lie to us.
The next time you find yourself in a situation that has you feeling anything other than neutral, tell yourself to let go of your expectations of the results, and simply just see it as it is. You will notice that your attachment becomes lessened as you bring your awareness to the neutrality of each situation that we encounter. Not good, not bad, just as it is.
Until next time,
Ahhh, the dog days of summer. I am sitting on my back deck, listening to the kids splash in our 3ft pool, I have my laptop in front of me, a book beside me, and a cold glass of water to drink. This is what my summer has looked like… my feet up, and simply relaxing. Sure, I have times when ‘things’ need to get done~~ the laundry, washing the floors, playing personal taxi cab service~~ but for these 2 months of summer, I have taken time off, to hang with my kids, and to simply just ‘be’.
In the hustle bustle of life, I often forget to allow myself to just ‘Be’. There’s a mountain of things that need to be done~~ laundry, dishes, floors washed, emails read, client bookings~~ I could go on forever.
But this summer, I have decided (and more or less guided by Spirit) that it would be important for me to take a time out… to let myself lay around a bit, and just enjoy my time. At first I thought it was because my youngest was starting school, and it’s my last summer with him before he turns into a big boy.
And with only three weeks of summer vacation gone by, I know that it’s a bit true, but even more true, is that my Soul needed this. My Soul needed me to turn down the volume of the ‘to do list’, and just rest a bit.
In her book, ‘Soul Vows’, Janet Conner states “God spoke the world into existence for 6 days, and then exhaled and rested on the 7th. But we humans, with our endless to-do lists and bottomless sense of self importance, keep ourselves in full go mode all day long, all week long, all year long. And then, we wonder why we’re weary right down to our Souls. I think God has it right, take a rest already’.
I read these words last week for the first time, when I was feeling as though I should be doing work, and yet I couldn’t be, because the kids were home. And as I read them, I realized just how important this gift was that I gave myself.
In hindsight, I can say, I have actually gotten a lot more accomplished by doing ‘nothing’ than I have when I have had a full schedule. I have begun a large portion of a book that was in my mind for some time, as I was able to connect with spirit in my ‘nothing-ness’, and hear what needed to be written. I was able to get a large chunk of a class I will be teaching in the fall written, when I normally procrastinate until the last minute.
In my ‘nothing-ness’ Spirit has been able to reach me in new ways, speak to me in the silence, and help me continue my work in a state of Being rather than Doing.
And as an added bonus, I have been able to spend more time with my children, playing, colouring, running, walking, swimming, driving them to different destinations~~ all with a clear mind and no ‘set schedule’ of what needs to be done.
Have you had a chance to slip into nothing-ness yet? I hope you join me, and find the peace that lies there waiting.
Until next time,
Imagine this. Your life has been disrupted. You found out you have a disease. Or there was a death in the family. A divorce. Childhood abuse is coming forward as an adult. And you are looking for help. You are vulnerable and afraid. You need someone who will help you work through these emotions, someone who has a strength that you have forgotten you possess; someone you can trust, and tell your fears to. Where do you go? Who do you seek?
This is the first time I have talked about an experience I had last summer on a public forum. I have spoken to girlfriends, and some healer colleagues of mine about my experience, and now I want to share it with you.
On a trip to the grocery store, a man waved at me from his vehicle. I gave a half wave, not recognizing who he was and parked my vehicle. As I walked into the store, he pulled up beside me, and asked if I was married. I replied yes, and he said, yah, I knew it. Can you give me a moment of your time. I have some things from Spirit to share with you.
Being a healer, a psychic, I was kind of excited. I was going to have my own little ‘Theresa Caputo’ moment, a reading from a perfect stranger. I followed him to his car. He was a good looking man~~ dressed in white spiritual garb (flowing clothes) with a rose quartz around his neck. More crystals hung from his sun visor, and he had a guitar in his front seat. He told me he was on his way back home after doing a spiritual retreat.
Claiming that he didn’t have enough room in his own vehicle, he asked if we could move to my vehicle so he could give me a reading. A few alarms went off in my head, but I thought what could possibly go wrong? He is a spiritual man, as I am a spiritual woman.
When we got into my vehicle, he started telling me some personal stuff about my relationship with my husband. He was quite accurate, and I found myself relaxing, thinking ‘this is good’. He then brought up my trust issues. They stem from childhood sexual abuse, and reoccurring patterns that have come into adulthood.
He claimed that the only way for me to trust, would be to touch him in the most intimate place a man has. I paused for a second and then put my hand on his heart chakra. This annoyed him, and he said again, ‘If you want to learn to trust, you MUST touch me in the most intimate place a man has’. He pointed to his crotch. I told him ‘No’. After some more pressure, and my continually saying ‘No’, he asked me ‘Why I didn’t want to move forward through my trust issues’.
I told him if my Guides wanted me to learn my lesson, they would find another way to bring the lesson forward to me. And then asked him to get out of the vehicle. He slammed his fist into the dashboard and got out.
I breathed a sigh of relief… I was safe, and the situation could have been worst than what it was.
Why am I bringing this up?
Because this could have been you. Or anyone, really. And you may not have been strong enough to say no. I know I wasn’t strong enough to walk away when he first approached me. And I know that I am not the first woman to fall prey to a ‘spiritual man’ claiming to be able to ‘heal’ through sexual measures.
This is the dark side of the healer. The one who represents themselves as being able to help others, but only preys on their vulnerabilities. The ones who tell you they will cure your cancer for X amount of dollars. The ones who say that they have gifts that no one else does, and so you must perform XYZ with them, in order to be healed of all of your problems.
While healing energy treatments can play an important role in one’s self care, for physical, spiritual and emotional wellness, it is not the cure. Healing comes from within, and a healer is only there to ‘facilitate the healing’, meaning the energy is flowing through them, into you (through hands-on energy transfer, on a fully clothed body). Everyone has their own healing abilities within them, and therefore, none of us ‘need’ anyone to ‘heal’ us, regardless of what some may claim.
Just as there is a balance of light and dark in the skies, and within ourselves, so too, is there light and dark among the healing world.
A ‘true healer’ will never pressure you to go further than you want to go. They want to help you, in a way that is comfortable to you. They may give you suggestions on healing treatments to try, different ideas to think about, etc. BUT they will leave the ball in your court as to how much they are willing to do. Yes, they will ask to be paid for their time, however, most will work with you if you can’t afford their services. They may also suggest other healers in your area that would be able to help with your issues, to give you more choices.
A ‘dark healer’ will pressure you, even when you get uncomfortable. They may ask for large sums of money to perform healing on you, that they claim, only they can do. They may get angry or berate you if you choose not to go through with their services, or they may pressure you to believe they are the only choice.
If you are looking for a healer, for what ever you are going through, I ask you (perhaps beg you) to follow your heart and your intuition to guide you to the perfect fit for you; to find a healer who is compassionate, understanding and caring, and has your highest good at heart.
Until next time,
For more information on the healing services that I provide, please visit my website at http://www.journeyhealers.com
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A few weeks ago, I had a chance to learn a new modality, Trifold Dimensions. The Trifold, as I like to call it, is a hands on energy technique, based on the Access Consciousness Body foundations and helps with releasing shock and trauma from a person’s body, at a cellular level. And I have to say, I am actually really impressed with this technique.
Being a healer, who is certified in many different techniques, I have been witness to some awesome healings, clarity, and understanding that these techniques can bring. With the Trifold however, the healing is happening in a different and deeper way.
First off, let’s talk about what shock and trauma actually are. Most think that shock or trauma are caused when we go through catastrophic events, such as a death, car accident, abusive relationship, or divorce. However, trauma and shock can be the simpler things in life as well, such as getting an unexpected high bill, or as a child, being told no to that cookie before supper. Because we have different ways of reacting to situations based on our own emotional and mental abilities, a child being told no can be just as traumatic for them as an adult losing their job.
When this trauma happens, it creates a new energetic pattern within the body, that we hold on to. So say, you were the child who was told no to that cookie, and you threw a temper tantrum. Your mom, who is trying to make supper, yells, and states no again. This only upsets you more, and you start to cry harder. Your mom is unable to calm you down, nor does she have the patience for it. An energetic pattern has been set.
As you get older, every time you ask for something and are told ‘no’, you react the same way you did at 2. Because the feelings that you had were not addressed, and caused trauma at the time, you always revert back to being a 2 year old being told no.
Now this of course would be an extreme case, but shows an easy glimpse into how these shocks and traumas of our lives can begin to play out into patterns that we hold onto, and ruts that we can get stuck in.
During a Trifold Dimensions treatment, you are able to access these patterns and the trauma that is associated with them. During my own, I was able to see the patterns of my own anger that had stemmed from a child who was sexually abused. Every time I witness someone doing something that is against the law (whether a child sneaking a snack or breaking basic rules, a driver not following the rules of the road, etc) I am fuming angry. During the Trifold that I received, I realized that my anger stemmed from my molestor, who also didn’t follow the rules. Knowing this, I have been able to release a lot of the anger that had built up through the years, towards him, and anyone I viewed to be ‘just like him’.
For my clients, I have witnessed healing from sexual assault, abandonment, abuse, betrayal, and feeling unloved. The healing that is taking place is taking away years of hurt, anger, and confusion, and replacing it with understanding, love and compassion.
If you have been feeling stuck in a rut, stuck in the same energetic patterns, or just wanting to let that sh*t go, a Trifold Dimensions treatment may be exactly what you need.
It’s never too late to start over again… take a chance today to let that sh*t go.
To book your own Trifold Dimensions treatment, click here.
Until next time,
In grade 6, my son did a science project on how emotions/words can affect fruit, therefore, also showing how emotions and words can affect our physical bodies. He cut up 6 apples, putting one half in one container, and one half in another container, and then labelled them with ‘I love you’, or ‘I hate you’; ‘Anger’, ‘Happiness’, etc. Within one week all of the apples browned a bit. But after 6 weeks, the apples with the ‘negative words/emotions’ had turned black with mold, soppy, and just plain gross. The apples that had positive words and emotions were the same light brown that they had been one week into the project.
This was an eye opener for him, as he was able to see how harboring negative thoughts, emotions, and feelings in our bodies can change the way we look, feel, and react to the world around us. (he got an A on the project, by the way).
The truth is, we are here, having a human experience, and a part of that experience, is to feel anger, sadness, resentment, hurt, disappointment, trial, pain, etc. It’s not all love and light~~ that’s what the Spirit world is for. And yet, quite often, when we are given experiences and people to help us feel these darker emotions, we want to run, and put our hand under the sand.
It is better for us, to feel these emotions, to experience these hardships, in order for us to grow. However, many of us, get so caught up in the ‘darkness’ aspect, that we forget about the light, the growth and the potential that each experience can bring us. Just as a lobster needs to hide itself under a rock to crack off it’s shell and grow a new one; just as a butterfly needs to crush it’s own wings out of the cocoon, so do we need to overcome the adversities of life, surrender, let it go, so that we can reach our greatest potential.
So how do you move through it? How do you move forward? How do you let go? Here are some simple ways to help you on your journey of letting go..
1. HONOR YOUR EMOTIONS.
We aren’t here to be all wishy washy, lovey dovey all of the time. It is important for us to feel a myriad of emotions. This is what makes us human. So if you’re feeling angry, allow yourself to feel angry. If you are feeling hurt, allow yourself to feel hurt. Just don’t stay there. Honour the emotions, and then move on.
2. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PART.
Everyone wants to blame the other guy for the way that they are feeling. However, we all have a choice to react to any situation, or person, in what ever way we choose. If someone is being a jerk, you can honour your anger and perhaps disappointment, and then move on. If you allow yourself to focus on the fact that the person is a jerk, you are giving them power over you. If you are feeling as though they are a jerk because you slept in today, didn’t get your coffee, had a fight with your husband, your kids drove you nuts, and he’s just the icing on the cake, take a step back, and see your responsibility in the behavior and then let it go.
3. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF
Sometimes we can get so caught up in the idea of letting go, that we get frustrated with ourselves when we aren’t where we want to be yet. This is true for many who have gone through some life altering experiences~~ divorce, job loss, disease, death. We try to force ourselves to be happy again, without really allowing ourselves to feel the emotions in the mean time. Feel it. Live it. Allow yourself to be in the anger. To be in the sadness. To be in the regret. For as long as it takes. It may be a day, it may be a month. No one knows how long you need but you.
4. GET AN ENERGY TREATMENT DONE
Energy treatments help you to release at a subtle energy level (those parts of yourself that you can not see). By asking for help from a trusted healer/energy worker, you will give yourself a chance to relax, and let go of all that you are no longer needing to hold on to. Some of this may be obvious, while other stuff may hit you over the head with an Aha! moment. Some great energy techniques for letting go (that I personally love) are Reiki, Access Bars, IET, Emotion Code, and Meta Angel Therapy.
5. GET CREATIVE
When I was trying to let go of the hurt that I felt towards my abuser, I spent hours in creative energy, writing songs, poems, painting pictures, and writing letters. It was a great way for me to express the emotions that I wasn’t able to speak out loud. Give yourself some space to create. Paint, garden, draw, sing, dance, play an instrument, whatever makes you feel alive. Allow those emotions to pour out of you into a creative endeavor.
One of the easiest ways to let go of emotions, is to state simple affirmations to release the emotions that you are no longer wanting to hold onto. If you are having trouble with anger, you might say, ‘I have honoured my anger and now live in peace. If you are having trouble with letting go of a relationship, you might affirm, ‘I am a confident, loving woman who is open to meeting the love of my life now. I cherish my past relationships and the lessons they have taught me.
Letting go doesn’t need to be hard, hurtful, or a chore. When you honour your body and your emotions and what they are telling you, it makes the path to letting go a much more beautiful one. Be easy on yourself, and allow yourself to let go in your own time.
Until next time,
If you haven’t heard Justin Bieber’s latest song, Love Yourself, you may be living under a rock~ or perhaps you’re still hung up on his wayward ways a few years ago. Either way, do yourself a favor, and go check it out. (I love it, I am a Belieber, again!)
That being said, I keep wanting to write a spiritual parody of it, where rather than saying ‘You should go and love yourself’, I would sing ‘You should go and smudge yourself’, but I haven’t been able to get too creative with the rest of the song lyrics yet.
So what’s the deal with smudging anyway? Does it really work? And how do you know when you should, or shouldn’t, be doing it?
When I first learned of smudging, I was a bit naïve. In fact, I didn’t know a darn thing about it, however, I have some really great friends who were able to fill me in on this technique.
Smudging is for everyone~ you don’t need to be a spiritual guru, shaman, medicine woman, ghost whisperer, etc. The art of smudging, while spiritual, in that it releases negative energies, it also has scientific backing to rid your house of bacteria and germs.
Read further to learn the best times to smudge your home, and yourself, for optimal living!
When You’re Sick, You Should Smudge Yourself!
Sickness is the easiest way to know that you’re energy is off. When you are feeling under the weather, or someone in your home is, grab your smudge stick, light it, and walk around the house, releasing all bacteria, germs and negative energy that is not there for your highest good, or the highest good of your family. As I said before, smudging is known to help clear up harmful bacteria in the air.
When You’re Sad/Angry/Depressed, You Should Smudge Yourself!
Yes, smudging can be a mood enhancer! Whether you’re feeling down, angry, depressed, lonely, or tired, smudging can help to release the pent up emotions so that you can feel ‘normal’ again. This isn’t to say that it will take away depression and you can get get off your medication. Negative energy, whether our own, or someone else’s, can make very dominant feelings in and around us. When we smudge our homes, and ourselves, we are releasing these negative energies back into the Universe, so that we don’t have to hold on to them.
When There’s an Argument, You Should Smudge Yourself!
Anytime there is a lot of tension in the air, it’s always a good idea to smudge the area afterwards, to release any lingering emotions once and for all. Have you ever heard the expression, ‘You could have cut the tension in the room’? Our emotions and feelings carry energy, and when we have a release (like an argument) the energies are also released. So if you and your spouse have a heated argument, you are spewing anger in the room, possible hurt, and defeat. That’s some pretty nasty stuff. By smudging, it’s like doing a spiritual cleanse of the room.
Before and After Large Gatherings, You Should Smudge Yourself!
Anytime there’s large groups of people coming together, whether to celebrate, or mourn, you should smudge the areas that people will be in, or have been in. I remember one Thanksgiving we had family over, and I had smudged the house before hand. The day was wonderful. The following day though, everyone in my house was grumpy. It wasn’t until late afternoon that it dawned on me, I should probably smudge again, and so I did. Everyone’s bad moods diminished.
When You Move, You Should Smudge Yourself!
When you move into a new home, it’s important to smudge the home of the old tenants’ energies. For many, our homes are our safe havens, where we let everything out, and thus becomes an energy portal for what we are putting out there. When you move into someone else’s home, if you smudge, you are alleviating the previous tenant’s energy that was left stagnant, and making room for your own personal energy.
When Things are Wacky, You Should Smudge Yourself!
If you are open to spirit, you may be able to tell when things are feeling a bit wacky. I have had lights turn on by themselves, instruments play by themselves, chairs move, etc. When Spirit is around, it’s best to cleanse the space for your Highest Good so Spirit can only come through in a positive way for you and your loved ones.
Smudging takes mere minutes, and yet offers so many benefits to our lives. As long as your intention is good, there’s really no ‘wrong way’ to smudge. Have fun with it, make it a ritual, for you and your family.
Until next time,
Catherine is an intuitive healer, and wellpreneur at her business, Journey Healers. She is the mother of 7, and Mimayo of one granddaughter. To connect with her, you can email Catherine@journeyhealers.com, or visit her website http://www.journeyhealers.com