My birthday was last month, and I was surprised with a trip to the spa. My husband did really good this year, and had planned out a ‘spa day’, complete with a Hawaiian hot stone massage, facial, mani/pedi and a luncheon that he picked out just for me. It was a wonderful day of relaxation, and rejuvenation. Being a mom of 7, running a business, being a wife, a friend, a sister… I am the first to tell people to take care of themselves, and one of the last people to actually do it.
It was in the moments of having a mixture of hot stones and cool sea shells rubbed over my back that I started to think of this ‘Self-Love’ thing that I like to talk about so much.
When is the last time you said that you love yourself?
Many equate love with relationships~~ their partner, children, parents, siblings, friends. Very rarely do we look at ourselves and ask, Do I really love you? Do I give you enough attention, admiration and adoration? Do you give yourself compliments? Or do you just complain about all of the shortcomings that you feel you have?
Our relationship with our Self is the very first relationship that we have. We are there at the moment of conception, to the very moment we take our last breath. You are the only one who was there for the first step, the first bike ride, first loose tooth, first kiss, first job, and so on. Only you have known your pain, your self judgments, your relationship ups and downs. And yet, you are also the first person to turn down that second piece of cake, the great opportunity that fills you with fear, or a potential relationship that you are afraid of.
So I challenge you now, to put yourself first~~ to love yourself for the Being that you are.
In a world where putting yourself first is seen as selfish, or even cocky, I ask you to put yourself at the forefront of your life. After all, you are the one that has to live it.
Not sure where to start? Here are 5 simple steps for you to incorporate into your day.
Be aware of yourself. Know your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Know where you stand. By understanding where you are coming from, understanding what you are feeling, you open yourself to truly loving (and forgiving yourself.) At first, you may have a difficult time understanding the feelings, however, give them a name. Are you happy? No? Excited? No? Proud? Yes~ explore that. Be honest with yourself.
Make sure you are taking the time every day to take care of yourself. There are the norms~~ washing, brushing your hair and teeth~~ but there’s also some things that we may not think of~~ going for an energy treatment to let yourself relax, or going for a massage. Take time for the little things, and let someone else take care of you, if only for an hour.
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
When you look in the mirror first thing in the morning, rather than taking in the wrinkles, a gray hair, or the sagging skin, find 3 things you love about yourself. Too hard? Find 3 things that you think are okay about yourself. It doesn’t have to be appearances, it can be based on your Soul’s appearance as well. Start the day off with a compliment, and then focus on that for the day.
(Would you want to be best friends with someone who constantly put you down?)
LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR HEART WANTS
Do you really want to watch Janet’s kids this weekend? Do you really want to help Jimmy out at work? Or are you doing these things because you feel obligated to, or are wanting appraisal for doing it? Before saying yes to anything, ask yourself whether it’s something that will bring you joy, or if it will simply be another task to add to your to do list. By listening to what your heart wants, rather than what your mind tells you you should be doing, you are staying true to your authentic self.
LET GO OF TOXIC PEOPLE AND TOXIC THINGS
One of the most popular books of last year was The Joy of Tidying Up. This book has the reader hold their belongings and decide whether or not they are bringing joy or not. If they are not bringing you joy, you are to throw this out, gift it, donate it, etc. This has been my motto for years. If it isn’t working, throw it out. This is true for relationships, jobs, and stuff. The more you clear out the energies that are taking you away from your True Self, the closer you can become with your True Self. Allow yourself to let go. Holding onto it will only bring you down and give you more reason to not like yourself.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE!
A funny human condition that I learned of a few years ago is how easy it is for us humans to stop doing the things that we love in favor of doing the things we don’t love. For example, we may love to paint, and yet never make time for it, while we hate doing PTA meetings and constantly sign up for the next one to prove ourselves to someone. Stop it! Allow yourself the time and space to do what you love~~ painting, singing, knitting, gardening, working out… whatever it may be that gets you feeling good about yourself and your life. Create. Learn. Live.
Many of us want to experience love, and the easiest, and best way to start that, it to love yourself. When you can practice that daily, you have love to give out to the world, and we all know we could use a little more of that.
Until next time,